All Steroids Team

I’m sorry, but Tim’s last post brought up the fantastic idea of an “all juiced team.” That’s just too good to pass up. Without further ado:

C: Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez

1B: Mark McGuire

2B: Brett Boone

3B: Mike Lowell (Sorry Boston Fans: have you ever seen a picture of him when he played with the Marlins?)

SS: Nomar Garciaparra

OF: Samuel Sosa. No speaka da English.

OF: Jose Canseco (Almost too easy)

OF: Barry Bonds (Ditto)

SP: Roger “The 28 Million-Dollar Man” Clemens

On the Bench: Jason Giambi, (tough ommission from the starting line-up) Gary Sheffield, Rafa Palmero, Steve Finley, Paxton Crawford, Jason Grimsley.

Canseco serves as Captain of the squad (Bonds is co-captain) and is in charge of getting the team out of bed every morning and to the gym for the morning bench-press and vitamin-drink session.

Obviously that’s a pretty good team. You’ve got home run leaders and batting champions there. The pitching is a little weak after the VERY obvious starter, but that’s because pitchers tended to not blow up their bodies to comic book superhero-level proportions. Until then I will settle for the decidedly mediocre Grimsley and former Sox farmhand Crawford out of the ‘pen.